what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
