Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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