nut hugger
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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