I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
