I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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