My cat gives me a boner
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
