I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize