first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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