what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
