9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This is the high leading the old right now
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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