I must be too annoying 4 u.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
