dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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