maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
