watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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