I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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