I want to stick my p in your. b.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
