Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You pole danced in your parka.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize