Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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