i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
