Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
