He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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