just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
