So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
