Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
home. puking in laundry basket.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
