Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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