Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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