Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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