Christians are straight up FREAKS
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
