I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
