is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
