im having a threesome with these popsicles
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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