The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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