69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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