i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
