Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
