Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
