But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
