I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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