Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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