it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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