Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
