i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
