His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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