she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
