I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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