U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize