You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
