i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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