My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize