Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
