I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
