totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
