Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
