Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
