Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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