god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
