I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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