Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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